How Brennan Manning Taught Me to Stop Apologizing for Being Human

I grew up believing that holiness looked like perfection — polished, tidy, and untouched by struggle. Weakness was something to overcome, not something to confess. Grace was a concept I could explain, but not something I knew how to receive.

Then I met Brennan Manning — not in person, but through his words.

The Furious Longing of God wrecked me in the best way. Page after page, Brennan spoke of a God who didn’t love me in spite of my humanity, but because of it. A God who wasn’t waiting for me to clean myself up. A God who wasn’t disappointed when I fell short. A God who knew I would fall short — and loved me still.

For someone who had spent years apologizing for being too emotional, too tired, too inconsistent, too real — this message was a lifeline.

“God loves you as you are, not as you should be.”

That line became a turning point for me. It wasn’t just poetic — it was truth. Brennan didn’t just write it; he lived it. A former priest who wrestled with alcoholism and doubt, he didn’t hide his failures. He let God’s grace shine right through them.

And in doing so, he gave people like me permission to come undone, to be honest, to be human.

Humanity Is Not a Flaw

For most of my life, I treated my humanity like a liability — something to manage or minimize. I apologized for being tired. For needing rest. For struggling with doubt. For grieving too long. For not bouncing back quickly enough.

But Brennan reminded me that Jesus didn’t come for the perfect — He came for the real.

“Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest.”
— Matthew 11:28 

That verse sounds beautiful, but I never believed it fully applied to me. I thought I had to be strong to be worthy of rest. I thought I had to prove my faith to be worthy of peace.

But grace doesn’t ask for credentials.

Grace meets us in the mess — and stays.

Belovedness Is the Beginning

Brennan often returned to one word to describe our identity in God: Beloved.

Not achiever. Not fixer. Not warrior. Not even servant.

Just — Beloved.

“I have loved you with an everlasting love; I have drawn you with unfailing kindness.”
— Jeremiah 31:3 

He taught that belovedness isn't something we earn by getting it all right. It’s something we wake up in, whether we believe it or not. And when we begin to live from that place — from the safety of being known and still loved — everything changes.

Our prayer life changes. Our relationships soften. Our inner critic loses power. We stop performing, and we start abiding.

I Stopped Apologizing

I stopped apologizing for crying during worship.
I stopped apologizing for grieving longer than people were comfortable with.
I stopped apologizing for needing to take breaks, for doubting out loud, for not always having a smile on my face.

And in doing so, I began to heal.

Not because I had conquered my humanity — but because I had finally embraced it.

Because as Brennan said so clearly:

“Define yourself radically as one beloved by God. This is the true self. Every other identity is illusion.”

You Don’t Have to Earn Belonging

If you're weary from performing, from hiding, from trying to “get it right” — I want you to hear this:
You don’t have to apologize for being human.

Jesus didn’t come for the best version of you. He came for the real one.

And God’s love isn’t something you unlock with better behavior.
It’s something you already have.

Right here.
Right now.
In the middle of your doubt, fatigue, fear, and fragility.

You are still — and always — the Beloved.

Stop apologizing for being human.

Start resting in the God who became human to love you fully.