Love That Walks With You

A Valentine’s Reflection on Love Without Chasing

Sometimes clarity arrives quietly.

A love that once felt energizing begins to require more movement than expected.
More initiating.
More softening.
More explaining.

What once felt mutual starts to feel maintained.

The text is drafted and deleted.
The truth is softened before it begins.
The silence is interpreted.
The reaching continues.

Over time, it begins to feel
like holding something in place
that would not stand on its own.

Chasing can disguise itself as devotion. It can look loyal. Even faithful. But maintenance is not the same thing as mutuality.

Love without chasing does not mean love without desire.
It does not mean indifference.

It means two people turning toward one another without persuasion.
It means presence that does not need to be secured through strategy.

Real love steadies the atmosphere.

There is less scanning.
Less rehearsing.
Less bracing.

The room feels quietly open.
There is air between the present moment and the future.
Nothing feels urgent.

There is relief in no longer being the one who must begin.

Love that walks with you
feels like standing in a spacious room
where nothing needs to be proven.

The light is steady.
The doors are not closing.
No one is holding the walls up.
The soul recognizes steadiness.

As Valentine’s Day approaches, when love is often displayed more visibly than it is sustained, it may help to remember this: security does not come from spectacle. It comes from consistency.

Being chosen loudly may impress a room.
Being chosen consistently steadies a life.

For some, Valentine’s Day brings celebration.
For others, it brings memory.
For still others, it brings clarity.
For some, love now looks different than it once did.

Scripture speaks of love as abiding, not urgent.
The Shepherd does not crowd the flock into safety.
He walks ahead of it.
His nearness does not depend on your effort.
You lack nothing in His presence.

The kind that walks with you
does not require overextension to remain.
It does not create urgency where there should be peace.
It does not disappear when effort quiets.

It remains.

This is not withdrawal.
It is alignment.
It is recognition.

And beneath every human love story — steady or complicated, present or remembered — there is a deeper one quietly holding it all.

God does not ask to be chased.

He does not withdraw to test devotion.

He walks with you.

His love does not strain you into staying.
It does not measure your worth by your performance.
It does not vanish when you grow tired.

It abides.

On a day that speaks loudly about being chosen, 

it may be enough to remember this: you are already held.

And the One who loves you most walks gently at your side.

Resting Without Reaching

 

A Psalm for Those Who Are Tired of Climbing

This reflection begins a quiet series, The Theology of Being Held, exploring Scriptures that make room for the soul to exhale.

There are seasons when faith moves upward before we realize we are following it.

We climb toward clarity.
Toward healing.
Toward understanding that promises to steady what still trembles.

Climbing is not wrong.
It carries us through survival and builds endurance.
It teaches us how to search honestly for what is true.

But there comes a moment — often after long endurance, grief, or quiet spiritual exhaustion — when something inside grows tired of climbing.

Not tired of God.
Not tired of truth.
Not tired of love.

Tired of reaching for stability that never quite settles.

After holding households together.
After navigating systems.
After answering questions you never expected to answer.
After sending the message you never wanted to send and watching something grow quiet.

You begin to notice how constant the effort has been.

And something in you wonders
whether peace has always required elevation.

It is a gentle exhaustion,
not collapse,
but deepening.

Psalm 131 begins here.

It does not describe spiritual victory.
It does not describe arrival through understanding.

It describes what happens when striving loosens.

There is a moment when life releases the belief that it must elevate itself in order to remain safe.

Many recognize this shift only after long seasons of effort.

Trying to understand pain before allowing yourself to feel it.
Trying to solve grief before breathing inside it.
Trying to predict outcomes before allowing presence to form.
Trying to hold together relationships, systems, or identities through vigilance alone.

These efforts often grow from love.
From responsibility.
From survival itself.

But eventually something quiet asks
whether reaching has ever been what kept you held.

This is not defeat.
It is relinquishment.

Resignation says:
Nothing matters enough to carry.

Relinquishment says:
Not everything needs to be carried for life to remain whole.

Resignation retreats from hope.
Relinquishment trusts hope without gripping it.

The climb can continue long after the mountain has disappeared.
When it slows, it rarely feels dramatic.

It feels quiet.

Something settles.

---

When the Body Stops Reaching

Often the body recognizes this before the mind does.

Your breath lengthens slightly.
Your feet settle more fully into the floor beneath you.

The effort softens.

This is where the body learns, slowly,
that it does not need to lift itself
in order to remain.

“Surely I have calmed and quieted my soul,
like a weaned child with its mother;
like a weaned child is my soul within me.”

A weaned child no longer strives for nourishment through urgency.
The child remains close, but without anxiety.
Close, but without grasping.
Close, but without needing to secure what is already safe.

This is not distance.
It is trust without strain.

At first, this can feel unfamiliar, even unsettling.

If I stop reaching, will I become passive?
If I stop striving, will I lose connection?
If I stop searching for resolution, will life unravel?

Psalm 131 suggests something quieter and stronger.

The deepest form of trust is not found at the peak of understanding.
It is found where understanding is no longer required to feel safe.

This is not spiritual indifference.
It is maturity.

Humility that no longer measures itself through growth.
Faith that no longer monitors its own strength.
Love that no longer believes it must secure what is already being given.

Some will recognize this immediately.
Others may only notice something loosening.

The psalm does not rush either experience.

It simply marks a threshold.

There comes a moment when life realizes that height is not safety.
That elevation is not protection.
That understanding, while beautiful, is not what sustains us most deeply.

And slowly, without announcement,
reaching gives way to resting.

Not because life becomes smaller,
but because trust becomes quieter.

You discover that remaining does not require striving.

Like a weaned child resting with its mother,
the psalm moves beyond effort into quiet belonging.

And sometimes, it is enough simply to remain
without lifting anything at all.

Nothing collapses when you stop climbing.
You simply discover you were already held.

*****

This reflection begins The Theology of Being Held, a series exploring Scriptures that remind us we are received with delight.

Silence Without Withdrawal

Remaining present where explanation is no longer required

Silence is often interpreted before it is felt.

For many, quiet arrives already carrying meaning.
It is read as distance.
As retreat.
As something having gone wrong.

Bodies learn this early.
Silence once followed conflict.
Quiet once meant attention had been removed.
Absence once arrived without warning.

So when words stop, the nervous system fills the space.
It scans for what has been lost.
It looks for signs of closure.
It prepares for disappearance.

This reflex is not irrational.
It was learned in places where silence came with nightfall.
Where quiet required watchfulness.
Where the lack of signal meant someone had left.

But not all silence means loss.

Absence withdraws.
It pulls back.
It closes doors.

Silence does not always do this.
There is a kind of quiet that stays.

It does not announce itself.
It does not reassure.
It does not lean forward to prove it has not gone anywhere.

It simply remains.

This kind of silence does not darken rooms.
It does not collapse space.
It does not seal what was open.

Nothing has been taken away.
Nothing has been hidden.

What has changed is not presence,
but the effort required to recognize it.

Some of you may recognize this moment from a place you’ve just passed through.

When Quiet Is Misread

Withdrawal hides.
It disappears into shadow.
It retreats behind walls.

Silence without withdrawal stays visible without signaling.
It does not patrol misunderstanding.
It does not manage perception.
It does not correct discomfort.

It trusts the light it stands in, without leaning toward it.

This is why silence is often misread.

Many have been formed by vigilance.
By the belief that care must be demonstrated through movement.
That presence must be proven through explanation.
That effort is what keeps connection alive.

When those signals disappear,
people assume something has been lost.

But there is a landscape where this is no longer true.

In Revelation 22, the city does not close.
The gates remain open, not because nothing could enter,
but because nothing needs defending.

There is no night there.
No dimming that requires watchfulness.
No darkness that demands explanation.
And nothing in the city is waiting to be resolved.

Silence in that city is not absence.
It is alignment.

It is what remains when guarding ends.

There are moments when words would reintroduce defense.
When explanation would pull the gates partway shut.
When speaking would ask the nervous system to stand watch again.

In those moments, silence is not retreat.
It is fidelity.

It is the choice to remain present
without managing how that presence is received.

Silence without withdrawal reveals gently.

It shows which relationships endure without reassurance.
Which connections rely on vigilance to feel secure.
Which systems confuse effort with love.

It does not force clarity.
It allows light to do the work.

The gates remain open.
Nothing has closed.
Nothing is being withheld.

Silence does not mean departure.

Sometimes,
it is how staying looks
when explanation is no longer required.

*****

---

This reflection belongs to the Open Gates Arc.

You can walk the full sequence here.